Raise your hand if you hold all your stress in your neck and shoulders. 🙋‍♀️

Yeah. Me too.

I didn't always know that was what was happening. I just knew that when I had a hard week, or sat at my desk for too long, or pushed through one too many things without a break — eventually my neck would get tight. My shoulders would creep up toward my ears. And then, a few hours later, my head would start pounding.

That creeping, building, pressure-from-the-base-of-your-skull kind of headache is a tension headache. And they're one of the most common types of headaches women deal with — especially moms, especially in high-stress seasons, especially those of us who are carrying a lot and not always setting it down.

For a long time, my answer was ibuprofen. Take it, wait 45 minutes, hope it works. But my husband is a gastroenterologist, and he has made it very clear over the years that regular ibuprofen use is genuinely hard on the stomach and gut lining — not to mention the stress it puts on your liver and kidneys over time. And honestly? I got tired of waiting 45 minutes for relief that may or may not come.

So I started looking for something better. Something that addressed the source of the tension, not just the pain signal. And what I found is now my go-to toolkit that I've shared with hundreds of people — and the response is always the same: "Why did nobody tell me about this sooner?"

Let me tell you. 👇

Why Tension Headaches Happen in the First Place

Here's what's actually going on when stress or posture creates a tension headache. The muscles in your neck, shoulders, and at the base of your skull tighten and contract — often because of stress, poor posture, too much screen time, or just holding yourself rigid while you push through a hard day. That muscle tension restricts blood flow and puts pressure on the nerves in the area. Those nerves send a pain signal upward, and suddenly your head is throbbing even though the real problem is in your neck and shoulders.

This is also why ibuprofen takes so long — it has to travel through your digestive system, get metabolized by your liver, and reach the bloodstream before it can do anything. Meanwhile, the tension is still sitting there, waiting.

What works faster? Going directly to the source.

The Toolkit That Changed Everything for Me

Over the past several years, I have built what I lovingly call my tension headache toolkit. It lives on my nightstand, in my purse, and in the bathroom. I have made versions of this for friends, clients, family members, and honestly anyone who has complained about a headache in my presence. 😂

The Rollerbottle Blend I Make Myself (And Have Recommended to Hundreds of People)

This is my absolute secret weapon and I am not even a little bit embarrassed about how often I push it on people. I mix Peppermint, Lemongrass, Frankincense, Deep Blue, Marjoram, AromaTouch, and Copaiba into a rollerbottle and keep it everywhere. And before you go searching to buy it at the grocery store or on Amazon, you should know that if you’re looking for pure, 3rd party tested, real essential oil that actually will DO something in your body (not just smell good), it needs to come directly from doTERRA. Medically, there really is no comparison, and others can actually be dangerous. And you want to order it directly from the company - Amazon and other distributors have time and time again been proven through testing to have additives and not be pure (even if they have a doTERRA label). The only way to ensure you’re getting what you pay for is to order directly from doTERRA…have it shipped directly from doTERRA.

Each oil in this blend has a specific job. Peppermint creates that immediate cooling, opening sensation that signals relief to your nervous system. Marjoram is one of the most underrated oils in the entire doTERRA lineup and is specifically known for soothing muscle tension — which is exactly what we're dealing with here. Frankincense is grounding and calming to the whole system. Copaiba amplifies every other oil in the bottle — it's like turning up the volume on everything else. And Deep Blue was literally formulated for this scenario. Together, they work faster than ibuprofen. I've timed it.

I roll it along the base of my skull, down both sides of my neck, across my shoulders, and over my sinuses if I have any pressure there too. Give it five to ten minutes and I can physically feel things starting to let go.

The Deep Blue Stick — One Swipe, Instant Relief

The Deep Blue Stick is my go-to for busy days when I don't want to deal with a rollerbottle. It contains the full Deep Blue Soothing Blend alongside Copaiba, plant-based menthol at 10%, Wintergreen, Peppermint, Camphor, Blue Tansy, Ylang Ylang, and Helichrysum. It is a legitimate topical analgesic — meaning it's formulated to provide real, temporary relief to aching muscles and joints. You just swipe it directly on your neck and shoulders, it dries fast, it doesn't leave residue on your clothes, and that cooling sensation kicks in almost immediately. For an even more intensive treatment, you can apply the Deep Blue oil first and then layer the stick over it — which is what I do when things are really bad. Every single mom should have one of these in her bathroom cabinet. It's that useful. If you have a desk job, a long commute, a busy household, or a body that holds tension — this is for you.

The PastTense Stick — When Stress Is Part of the Problem

PastTense Stick has everything in the PastTense Blend, but also Sweet Gum. So it contains Wintergreen, Lavender, Peppermint, Frankincense, Cilantro, Marjoram, Roman Chamomile, Basil, Rosemary AND Sweet Gum essential oils — and what makes this one special is that it doesn't just work on the physical tension. It also works on the emotional and mental stress that caused it. Lavender and Roman Chamomile calm the nervous system. Frankincense is grounding. Marjoram relaxes the muscles that have tensed up from carrying all that stress. Sweet Gum is high in beta-caryophyllene—a soothing compound known for its calming properties. The fact that it comes in a convenient stick format makes it so easy to use at your desk or throw in your bag. And the aromatic experience of applying it sends a direct signal to your limbic system — the part of your brain that controls your stress response — which is why you often feel an almost immediate sense of calm when you breathe it in. The calming effects can be felt when applied to the neck, shoulders, or behind the ears. I use this one a lot in the afternoons when I can feel my shoulders making their way up toward my ears. If your headache is as much about a hard day as it is about physical tension — start here.

Why This Approach Actually Solves the Problem

When you apply these products topically to your neck and shoulders, you're not just masking a pain signal the way an OTC painkiller does. You're actually working on the muscle tissue that is causing the problem. The cooling, soothing, and circulation-supporting properties of these oils get to work where you put them — helping tight muscles release, improving blood flow to the area, and signaling your nervous system to relax.

The pain signal is coming from the tension. Address the tension, and the pain has less to signal.

This is also why the topical approach works faster than anything you swallow. Pills have to travel through your entire digestive system before they can reach your neck muscles. A rollerbottle or stick goes right to the spot in seconds.

There's also something important happening aromatically. When you breathe in the oils as you apply them — especially something like PastTense with its calming blend — you're engaging your olfactory system, which has a direct line to your brain's stress center. That's not a placebo effect. That's how aromatherapy actually works. The scent-brain connection is one of the most direct communication pathways in the human body.

Pair all of this with a few minutes of intentional breathing and the headache doesn't stand a chance.

You Don't Have to Just Push Through

I've heard so many moms describe their tension headaches as "just part of life." And I get it. You're needed. You don't have time to be down. So you push through with a pounding head, feeling like you're running on 40% capacity, just trying to make it to bedtime.

But friend — what if you didn't have to do that?

What if you had something that actually worked, that you could keep in your purse and use in two minutes, and that didn't require you to wait 45 minutes or stress your gut in the process?

I know what it's like to lose an afternoon to a tension headache. I know what it's like to feel useless when your family needs you and your head is just not cooperating. And I know what it's like to have a toolkit that actually comes through — and to feel empowered because of it.

Your neck and shoulders have been working hard. It's time to give them a little love. 💙

If you’re ready to get any of these products, use the buttons below to save on some special bundles I created for you. Want to know more about any of the products I mentioned? Reach out to me directly or find me on Instagram and TikTok [@thatslifedanette] — I'm always happy to help you figure out what makes sense for your life. 💛

Roller Bottle Blend Bundle

Deep Blue Stick & PastTense Stick Bundle

Have questions before ordering? I’m happy to help - use the button below to shoot me an email:

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As a special thank you gift from me I'll also send you the Advanced Oil Magic reference book as a free gift when you order 150 PV or more on your initial order.

(only available to those in the continental USA)